From The Department Of The Completely Unnecessary: Footloose: The Remake

It seems that somebody in Hollywood a little while ago had this thought:

Hey, what if we remade "Footloose" as a street dancing movie! You know, one with very, very little emphasis on good acting! Or a relevant plot!
And decided to give the "classic" Kevin Bacon film the dance flick treatment. (Though it looks as if it may have gotten the Wayans Brothers' Dance Flick treatment.) Thus, in the grand tradition of Step Up, Step Up 2: The Streets, and Step Up in 3D, the new Footloose was born.

From the story given in the new film's trailer, the kids in small-town Bomont have been banned from dancing after some students died in a car accident leaving a dance… Using this logic, if some kids were in a car accident after leaving the grocery store, I'm assuming grocery shopping would also become banned. (Why not cut to the chase and just ban driving cars?) So, now that the kids can't dance in public (even though they can do other things like wear really revealing clothing), they're popping and locking to blaring music in parking lots right outside restaurants. I'm sure no one will find out!

Also, there should be a fist-fight outside a barn! And the hero should rescue the girl from an oncoming train she's standing right in front of! And a school bus blows up! Nevermind that it looks like the bus blows up because the hero and another dude are crashing dueling school buses into each other. Seriously, this town doesn't have a dancing problem, it has a driving problem.

My only hope is that John Lithgow and Diane Weist never have to see this trailer.

Random Thoughts While Watching The Hangover Part II

So this is what we're doing, huh? Using the same shot list from the original film, but moving the setting to Thailand to make it seem different. Oh, and using some of the same dialogue. This might work if it turns out that this film is actually a hilarious send-up of the original, wherein they mock the very thing they created.

• Clearly the filmmakers decided that having an impending wedding is the best way to force a sense of anxiety/importance/deadline. Substitute Ed Helms for Justin Bartha, add in an offensively stereotypical overprotective father, and serve up a cringe-inducing rehearsal dinner toast.

• What happened to Heather Graham?

• The brother of the bride-to-be, Teddy (Mason Lee), seems to have been set up as a foil for Alan (Zach Galifianakis), but it's not clear that the actor playing Teddy got the memo.

• They're referring to themselves as "the wolf pack"? No, that should not be allowed.

• Justin Bartha is, once again, not invited on this crazy merry-go-round.

• Of course Alan (Zach Galifianakis) has become friends with Mr. Chow (Ken Jeong)… wait, what?

• The car chase scene in a Toyota Corolla is probably the film's high point.

• The use of kids in this film -- in the tattoo parlor and in Alan's flashback -- is disturbing and distracting.

• Is that the dude that worked in the wedding chapel in Vegas in the first film, but now runs a strip club in Thailand and is just disguised in a terrible wig? Yes, I think it is.

• Yeah, I did not need to see that.

• Paul Giamatti is playing such an absurd caricature of a villain -- is that on purpose?

• Oof, this ending is feeling rushed and forced. We really know nothing about the relationship between Stu and Lauren, and we already experienced a very satisfying "Stu standing up for himself against his oppressor" sequence in the first film.

• Part of the beauty of the first Hangover was that it had a lot of heart. We cared about the relationships between the characters. It's hard to feel the same way about caricatures. And seriously, does the bride not care at all about the face tattoo? C'mon.

Concerning possible factual inaccuracies involving Stanford University

• There's not a "pre-med" major at Stanford. You could do the HumBio core, but that's about as close as it gets. Fine, maybe the father is just saying Teddy's pre-med to force his own agenda, but still.

• Okay, first of all, there is not a Bally Total Fitness in Palo Alto. And I seriously doubt this kid is driving to San Jose to work out. Why isn't he just going to Arrillaga Gym? I mean, it's right there.

• Wait, he has a class ring? But he's a freshman, and like, no one buys a class ring. Maybe if you're on the football team. Maybe.