Carmen Electra and the Battle of the Bulge

Lately I have been distractedly tormented by the ex-Prince muse, ex-Jenny McCarthy replacement, ex-Dave Navarro’s wife, Carmen Electra.

Earning her keep by hawking a multitude of products on television (seriously, Joan Rivers may be getting jealous) – Electra is featured in a series of Taco Bell advertisements downing burritos. Simultaneously, Electra also stars in new commercials for NV – a weight loss pill that helps Electra once again feel good about her body.

Hmmm… let me put two and two together…

It seems that Taco Bell should be up in arms about this. For all we know, Electra could need to use NV because of 4th meal.

Or, perhaps the two could team up. Buy $100 worth of ½ pound burritos, and you’ve earned yourself a free 7-day NV supply.

Believe me, you have earned it.

Seven minutes to midnight

Seven Minutes

In 1947 the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists (which would be a great name for a band, by the way) created a clock to keep symbolic track of how close we are to the end of the world. Getting their jollies from the countdown to apocalypse (c’mon, who doesn’t?), the B.A.S. set this clock at seven minutes to midnight – with midnight marking the end of life as we know it.

While varying nuclear and climate threats have changed the position of the clock’s hands over the years, the “Doomsday Clock” currently sits where it was originally, at seven minutes. Scientists are, however, getting ready to change this – and it’s not getting further away.

What may be most irksome about this project is that scientists have yet to reveal the year in which the clock will strike midnight. My guess: 2649. Go ahead, call me when I’m wrong.

I’m hoping for an alternate group of scientists to spring up and start a “Count Down to Residing in Paradise” clock – which is what we all know will definitely happen after this world ends. I mean, if you’ve been good.